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When I was younger I absolutely loved the Spice Girls. My friends and I used to always sing their songs and do dance routines. I was always Scary Spice 'cause I always chose last, and obviously choosing last isn't really choosing anything at all, haha. My favorite was Sporty Spice though. I still have 7 of their songs on my laptop, plus some of their solo stuff.

When I was about 12, my favorite bands were Linkin Park and System of a Down. This lasted till about 14 or 15, when I discovered Rammstein. But yeah, I still love them. :)
eisbrecher: (Default)
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This sounds like a bit of a paradox, but I wouldn't be so afraid to be different, and I wouldn't be so afraid to be normal. When I was at high school, I would try to hide parts of me that were different, like my sexuality, what music I listened to, whatever little things the idiots I went to school with didn't like to see in people. So I was acting like someone I wasn't. And then some rebellious thing kicked in, and I went to another extreme - trying to be too different; again, someone who wasn't me. I didn't break the law or anything, but I was just too determined to be different, just for the sake of being different. Anything that was too "normal" I suppressed. WTF?!  And now I'm perfectly happy with being myself :) 

I should also mention, because it is kinda related, how I really shouldn't have bothered with people who didn't give a shit about me or how I felt, or what I liked and disliked or anything. There are too many great people in the world to waste my time worrying about the most popular girls not liking me. If they don't like me, it's their loss, really.

eisbrecher: (Default)
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When I was really young, I was obsessed with the Spice Girls and wanted to be a singer/dancer (I'm showing my age here). Once I graduate, and get my money problems sorted, I'm going to get violin lessons (I've had the violin since Christmas but can't play) and hopefully become a musician. So, I guess you could say that if I end up a violinist, in a band or orchestra, then I've accomplished my musical childhood dream, even if it isn't quite the same.
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In my last year of high school, I stopped worrying so much about what people thought of me. I still cared, of course, about my real friends and family, but I went through a lot of bullying and stuff at school that I was constantly only revealing a side of me that would let me be liked by people, people that I didn't even like, and I knew they didn't like me either. Eventually, with the help of my brother, who had never given a shit about people who hated him, I learned to be myself, whether I was liked or hated because of it. I mean, I stopped having the occasional cigarette and drink, because I valued my health and my morals, knowing I was only doing it under peer pressure for people who weren't even my friends, they were just idiots who wanted the power. And I was worse off socially, just because I was not prepared to damage my health or break the law. But I was glad for it, because I finally only hung out with real friends, who liked me whether I was tee-total or not. The whole bullying/peer pressure thing at school gave me really bad confidence issues, which I'm still working out, but I'm glad I didn't decide to continually be someone I wasn't just for the sake of fitting in.


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December 2012

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